Almost!
I seem to be in the same situation that I am every year at least a few times. The time where I can feel that this day may be the start of accomplishing a major goal. This time I may be able to lose a significant amount of weight and eventually not have to worry about my health; not have to worry about my family repeating to me that I need to lose weight; not feel as if I have to compensate for my size; not have to worry that I may be too tired or may not be able perform a certain task; not have to worry if people will be surprised that I’m with a wonderful man despite my size.
I feel like I’m on a plane ready to sky dive and I have all my gear (parachute) fully packed- ready to jump. But I keep thinking about how scary the fall is. I worry about the What Ifs. What if something goes horribly wrong?
In regard to weight loss, what if I fail again? I’m thinking about how awful I’d feel. How defeated. Weight loss seems so simple! If I was looking at the situation as a third (skinny) party- I would say, “Stop eating so much junk food, stop eating when you’re full, and exercise several times a week”.
This time, I realize that my negative thoughts are distortions of reality. It only matters if I end up thinking I’m some type of loser for trying and failing. And it doesn’t make sense that I would think that about myself. I love me. I know I’m a good person and capable of good things. I know I’m a hard worker and I know I deserve to be healthy. My poor body deserves to be healthy. I didn’t consciously know what I was doing to it. Otherwise I would’ve stopped. Seriously- If I knew I’d be this overweight and could go back in time, I would. And I’m sure as hell that my past self would believe my future self and take heed! My past self would also ask if I eventually obtained super powers in which I would have to sadly decline (there’s still time to grant me super powers- anybody?).
I’m almost about to take the plunge. Once I do, I may increase speed or decrease, but there is no going back to the plane.
Oh, yea! Great corny analogy for my first official post. We’re off to a great start my friends. ;)
-Vivi [The Purple Plum]
